DOG-E-MAIL TO:  Amanda 
FROM: Foxy 
Date: November 16, 1999 
Subject: Family Stuff

   
Dear Amanda,

How's it going with you? It's going pretty OK with me.

The people here turned the big blue food dish around! Now I have to knock it over to get into the goodies. You know when you knock it over you're going to get caught. For sure! Even in the middle of the night! The Grump says he's going to find a can that is "hound proof". Fat chance, eh? This is war! Do you think anybody makes a garbage can like that? I've not touched the can for a few days as I hope to lull them into a sense of security - then watch out. 

You are wrong - garbage is a good and tasty thing. What the hell, Angus, the great clever guy, will eat anything. Nobody much yells at him.

Look Amanda babe, its bloody cold here. And that white stuff on Saturday - whoa! My feet are still chilled. I made pee-sickles in the yard. Had to break them off to come in. Too scared to poop. And its going to get worse? Mom said so. The coat Mom made for me isn't warm enough - it's real pretty but way too thin. I wish she'd hurry with THE WINTER COAT. Mom's going to make me a real warm nylon coat with three layers of stuffing AND without any of those silly pictures on it - just like hers. Toasty warm. In the meantime, I'd like to wait back in Orlando.

The Grump and Andrew went to Greyhound playgroup yesterday! Figure that one. I stayed at home with the fur ball and THEY went to playgroup. Hope they had to have muzzles and itchy sweaters. Then they come home talking about the running and bumping and pushing and snarling and snapping - all the good Greythound stuff. Does this seem fair? And it was the last playgroup until spring. The Grump says he isn't going to pay for indoor playgroup. Right! He goes out to exercise when he wants to. I'll work on this.
We have worked out the couch thing. I get the couch. Angus gets the water heater in the basement. The cement bed is his. Boys are so dumb! All you have to do is flash your big brown eyes wiggle your hips. They are putty in the paws of a master.

Angus can keep the basement. There is not a single soft place to lie down on. I have the office and everything upstairs. I dragged a bed up there. Now, if only the old Grump would leave so I could just relax in the corner. And that noisy computer CD drive!! So distracting! So we finally have the territory issues settled. Angus, the fur ball, gets the water heater and I get the rest of the house. Fair, eh? Maybe, I'll let him visit sometimes.

That getting cookies from Mom and then putting on an act for the Grump and Son works real great. Thanks. I tried the sitting thing. Nasty! If you shake a paw you fall over. When I complained about broken in half cookies and how unfair it was those in charge paid attention. Now we both get half cookies. People logic! They just don't get it. We hounds live for those cookies.
Grandma Foote, whoever she is, asked Grump if he is going to Florida in January. You should have heard the carry-on. Insurance, air fares, health care stuff. HELLO PEOPLE! Foxy would like to go!! I could show them a good time and I'm sure there are beds available at the Kennel in Orlando. With my friends at the track they might even make a dollar or two. HELLO PEOPLE! No brainer here! Foxy would like to go. But I'd rather not travel with the baggage!

Thank you for your advice Amanda. Maybe you could talk to my humans about the cookies.

Love and scratches,
Foxy

Reply:

Hey! Everything is going OK with me.

Now my dear, I don't think you listened very well the last time. Garbage is NOT good. It may taste pretty good now, but I guarantee that it won't taste very good coming back up if you eat something bad. And the way your stomach would heave, no thanks. 

As for Angus and the outdoor food.. Well he seems to lose his mind in the winter. But I hear that you brought IT into the house. Don't you know that stuff stays outside unless you learn how to use the toilet (and not as a water bowl).

Snow? you call that little bit of white stuff snow? HA HA HA That is nothing compared to what you will see. Get "the Grump" to buy you a pair of boots if your feet are cold. I promise that you will get used to it though. And at least we have had warm weather this week.

If you like playgroup, maybe you should save up all your cookies and trade them in for a chance to go to indoor playgroup. I can't explain to you the reason that the Grump and Andrew (I call him the Dork) went to play group without you. They sometimes do things that you just have to shake your head at.

I am glad that you have figured out your territory issues with Angus. Behind the hot water heater is definitely not a place for a girl. It is dusty back there. Mind you there is a great view of the junk under the house. Maybe that is why Angus likes it so much. Boy I bet Angus is mad at you for making the folks only give you both half a cookie now. Angus lives for those things too. But, oh well, he needed to lose some weight anyway. As for your problem with sitting..... Well all I can say is practice makes perfect.

Grandma Foote. Well she is a nice lady, very fragile though. No jumping on her. Grandpa Foote on the other hand. He is okay until he brings the photos out... then it is YAWN!!! And we won't even discuss his driving. 

The Grump has been going to Florida for a while now. He goes to help out. You can't go because Mom is going to need you here. She gets very very lonesome by herself. She will deny it if you bring it up.

Well it is midnight so I had better go to bed now. Talk to you later.

Love 
Amanda